Frank
Toastmaster
jakeoff
cubansamurai
ALeks_M
B Miggs, EA, criterion games, images, stoned, weed, xbox360
My thoughts on Burnout: Driving Stoned are similar to my thoughts on actually driving in another state I know nothing about with no map: I hate it. Although the buildings are few and far between, visually they are the most impressive part of the game. The modeling of the Mcdonalds Drive-Thru’s, Best Buys, and the woods behind the highschool are all top notch, i think.
Burnout: Driving Stoned begins with you assuming the role of some lost soul hippie dad looking dude with the keys to some beat up wreck that doesn’t go over 50 mph. You drive aimlessly through what appears to be leftover “Easy Rider” backdrops but instead of finding the true meaning of America you just end up buying fucking fries on a fast food menu. The second mission is to pick up the kids at school and take them home (which would be a simple task for a sober driver) but with no radar, map or compass directing you where to go, it’s basically impossible. Make sure you switch to 3rd person view of your vehicle because the constant smoke clouds don’t block your sight as much. It took me 4 hours to finally complete the mission, mostly since my character forgot where he parked his car yet was somehow completely capable of making up wild, fictitious names for every strain of weed he encountered in the game.
The included recipes for ganja goo balls and how to roll a joint using bible paper can’t even save this mess. Plus the weed in the game has mad seeds in that shit.
4 comments 
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03.6.2008 ,
at 11:16 am
Bob “Wiley” Martin was my inspiration for this piece. FYI
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08.5.2008 ,
at 10:54 pm
You either hate potheads or have no idea how to make them laugh. Or maybe the article was just to justify all the time you wasted in photoshop making the image first.
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10.31.2008 ,
at 1:55 pm
This article is shit. You suck
You should kill yourself now if
this is all you can do you miserable shit gargling ass clown. -
11.1.2008 ,
at 9:44 pm
Jay, get in touch with us and share some of your no doubt brilliant ideas. We’re an equal opportunity employer, so don’t let the fact that you only have a 5th grade education stop you from trying. Seriously man, “shit gargling ass clown”? At least come up with something good if you’re going to spend the time perusing a bunch of our articles only to bitch about them via blindly hateful comments.
