Somebody Give Bubble Man A Pet Monkey : : The -Minus World : Your Distinguished Source For Video Game Comedy

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World Law, agent b, mega man, monkey fun

Somebody Give Bubble Man A Pet Monkey

agent b on March 19th, 2008

world law, minus world, video game comedy

Mega Man 2’s “Bubble Man” may seem to have things on lock within the confining context of his own underwater estate, rife with deadly piranhas, spiked corridors and killer….shrimp? But put Bubble Man side-by-side with his projectile thematic robo-brothers at the annual Dr. Wily Lab Creation Convention Picnic and his laughable little bubble blasts look straight up pathetic in comparison. I mean, check what his co-workers can do: Metal Man resides in a decapitating hell factory where he constantly trains himself to shoot violent spinning gear blades at the series’ protagonist, Air Man, Wood Man and Heat Man are all masters of their respective deadly elements, and Flash Man can fucking stop time. Bubble Man? He shoots bubbles, and bubbles only catch the attention of puppies, three-year olds, and Phil Lesh fans.

In the early 90’s, TV monopoly man Ted Turner (who ironically looks a lot like Dr. Wily) created the character, Captain Planet. His subsequent show, “Captain Planet and the Planeteers,” faced similar projectile imbalance issues. It centered around an ethnic buffet of teenagers who were each given a ring representing some sort of worldly power. The American kid got the “fire” ring to satisfy his country’s innate penchant for total destruction, the Asian chick (known only as Gi from the vaguely named “Asia”), got water, and so on. Who got the shortest end of the shaft? That would be Ma-Ti, the anemic South American kid with a helmet haircut. He walked away with “heart,” possibly the most soft-batch power in history. But the show’s creators saw it fit to bring balance to the force by also giving him a pet monkey, which makes for a great party device and ultimately lends a sense of companionship to make up for the fact that his heart ring was so pussy.