World Law, tom clancy, video game violence
Dude, you’ve been writing war novels and slapping your name on gun-hungry video games since The Hunt For Red October in 1984, take a fucking vacation. Do you sleep in a fighter jet bed, bathe in bullets and make love to a ballistic missile when Ms. Clancy is out antique hunting for World War II memorobillia? I know Ubisoft owns your soul, but over 40 war loving video games have been released under your moniker since you made it known that you war in your pants every time you hear the word “war.” I haven’t checked Toys R Us today but i’m sure Tom Clancy’s Shoot People Somewhere and Tom Clancy Detonates An Orphanage Because He Can just hit the racks. Tom, you’re like Yosemite Sam, Snidely Whiplash and Boris & Natasha piled into one jelly roll of a man except your obsessive weapons of choice aren’t cartoon bombs and shotguns, they’re real ones.
Not like I have a problem with violent games. There’s nothing more harmless than running around in circles while wearing a dorky head set and yelling “flank left!” to your friends because saying “go left!” makes you sound like a normal person. But i’m also able to do things like pet a puppy without stealth killing him or go to a casino without envisioning it as the perfect battleground for a high tech shoot-out against Russian bio-terrorists. Give this shit a rest, it’s taking a toll on you. You look like you fell asleep on a pottery wheel. Your face looks like if frisbees had feelings and one of them was mad. Your gut looks a peanut butter filled balloon fight taking place in a Family Circus panel. Put down the gun, go to Chuck E Cheese and play some Skee-Ball or something, you crazy old man.
No related story.
3 comments 
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04.2.2008 ,
at 5:02 pm
Tom Clancy
Secret Spy Camo Ops: She has my Number, Why Won’t She Call Back?
+4 -
04.3.2008 ,
at 2:43 pm
awe… sounds like someone could never finish the Drug-Dealer’s Hacienda mission in the original Rainbow Six.I know many people who would never own a video game if not for Mr. Clancy. Those people have since moved on and are now officers in the Nebraska State Militia, protecting the American way from “queers, scientists, immigrants, jezebels , and other God-less folk”.
+2 -
04.3.2008 ,
at 5:05 pm
fine, i admit it. this post stems from me having the skills of an effeminate middle aged ski instructor with crane-game stuffed bears displayed in my VW Buggy when it comes to Tom Clancy games. HAPPY? +0
