3rd party, ad-whores, vanilla face
Ever wondered how easy it could be to obtain the rights to the most self fellating, rib removing, narcissistically corporate video game adventure of all time? Just “chill” with the ad pals over at Kawasaki! Sure, the game sucks balls (from every glistening angle on the prism of consumerism,) but who cares? Games aren’t about escapism or the ability of the player to face new imaginary worlds. These days they’re about sponsorship and product placement, you dumb yatch! We caught up with the Kawasaki Snowmobile dev team for a quick word on what their new game is really about!
MW: So you guys made a game about Kawasaki Snowmobiles? Why not just make a game about your own dicks?
KSM: We’re not trying to sell our own dicks.
MW: Yeah, the market value on those are probably terrible. So what’s the game like?
KSM: It’s like riding a real Kawasaki Snowmobile, except instead, you don’t really ride one at all. It’s basically a gateway drug to help us sell shitty vehicles in the cold season.
MW: So why does the game even exist? It’s like an arranged marriage of mediocrity and indulgent whoring for the singular purpose of attaining higher sales within the confines of your shitshow of seasonal snow jobbery, right?
KSM: We’re passionate about our jobs. Also, we honestly can’t think of a better way to divert attention away from our secret underground rare unicorn penetration ring.
MW: Well, thanks for the honesty guys and best of luck with your Kawasaki Snowmobile Snowpowasaki Kawamobile game of animal rape divergence! We hope your parents and stock holders are proud of your latent motives. We also hope your shitty game fails miserably. Hang ten!
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1 comment 
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06.22.2008 ,
at 6:16 am
DDI picked up seven or eight of my tracks for Kawasaki Snowmobiles two years ago………..Er…………………….hoped you at least liked a bit of the music.Check out my site for the non-adulterated versions of these and many other choons!!!
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