EA Rewards Steven Spielberg With Big Shiny Thing to Add to His Mantle Of Big Shiny Things

B Miggs on May 13th, 2008

Dear General Public,

With the recent release of Steven Spielberg’s Boom Blox, is there anything that EA can’t absorb? Steven Spielberg wins new shiny thing from Electronic Arts and another name (Madden, James Bond Games, Etc.) has fallen to the hordes of Mongorians. What’s next, James Cameron’s Trickle Dix? They’re trying to destroy the walls of our inner sanctum of quality with “think outside the box” games and the mere thought of feeling challenged mentally makes me feel mentally challenged. The hell with this guy. He’s another name that has turned commodity, and another strong arm with a bludgeoning device to strike the very bricks of our sanctuary. Seems like EA is trying to take over everything right now. I wonder if they have any relation to Walmart. Or, better yet Walmart comes out of nowhere with their Moon-sized brass balls of power and snatches up EA in a nanosecond. Then Martin Scorsese makes a video game about it called Rockin’ Cox. That’d teach these dumb bastards the simple, and often overlooked point; that small businesses increase competition. Without competition there’s no quality. There’s only racks of tube socks made by little kids overseas. As much as I want to play Boom Blox because somebody paid for it to get excellent reviews, this isn’t a review site. Now if you excuse me, I have to go test out Oliver Stone’s Walls ‘O Balls.

Sincerely, B Miggs