Cheat Codez: How To Hire A Robot To Forcibly Drag Your Parents Away From The Television

agent b on May 22nd, 2008

Hey kids! Do your parents waste away their lives melting in front of a television, slowly sinking into the couch as their rapid neglect for your upbringing parallels their increasing knowledge of how many twirls Mario Lopez did last night on Dancing With The Stars? Then buy them BOB, you dumb yatch! BOB was originally invented to keep you, the ruckus bringing youth of today, from enjoying too much television in a single time period. You see, at some point your parents decided that nothing they could do or say would stop you from watching TV so a friendly box top robot was created to succeed where they failed: parenting and discipline. What does BOB do? He monitors your hours spent with anything that has a screen and promptly shuts it down after you’ve spent what your worthless parental units deem “too much time.”

Well that’s nice and all, but your parents are actually consuming more media than you are these days so aren’t they the ones that need the policing? After all, they’re so inept at raising you that they hired a robotic replacement so maybe it’s time to do the same for them. Scrounge up some couch change, hustle some Pokemon cards and purchase BOB for your parents television. Set it to shut off during any of the 47 minute time out breaks during your average NFL game or right before Eva Longoria announces what STD she has this week on Desperate Housewives. With less TV to compete with, you’ll win back their attention in no time. Then maybe they can actually get back to doing what they should’ve been doing the whole time: raising you themselves.