pokefreaks
mypocket
bixby
Mike
jasper
Kaptain M'Bargo
E3, jasper
Shigeru Miyamoto is a gaming God. He can have my babies and virgin sisters. So you can imagine the lengths I went through to nab this exclusive interview with the man himself. Read on for more.
0:31 AM - I’m here at E3. The sounds and sights are that of legend. Really gotta go to the bathroom pretty bad as I’ve been waiting in line all night drinking cup after cup of coffee. Who put the PSP booth right next to the toilets? I’m not sure which one I crapped in. I should have wore a diaper like Triforce Jenkins. He’s never #2 in line if you know what I mean.
10:34 AM - The line at the bathroom is longer than the line at the Wii booth. Might be my last blog entry for the day.
10:45 AM - If anyone at E3 is reading this on their Blackberry or iPhone, there’s no security behind the PSP booth. Just watch where you step.
10:49 AM - The Warcraft booth babe seems to have an adam’s apple and she’s eating a Philly cheese steak. I don’t blame her; it looks delicious!
10:57 AM - SHIGGY SPOTTED! SHIGGY SPOTTED! Bestill my beating heart.
11:00 AM - Ok Jasper. Just walk up and talk to him. Its not going to get any easier. Compliment him on his smile or ask him about some game he made in the 80s. You’re not going to get another chance at this. You’re a grown man that exudes confidence. You deserve this interview. You know what you want, and you take it.
11:03 AM - He’s never going to talk to me. He speaks broken English, this was such a bad idea. My shirt is soaked with tears and I feel like I gotta go use the PSP booth again.
11:05 AM - Did Shiggy just glance at me? He’s walking over! How do I look?
11:07 AM - Shiggy is literally a foot away from me. He’s bending down. Should I close my eyes? He’s picking up a loose bill on the ground near my feet. Its ten bucks! He’s gonna speak!! Shiggy: Is this… yours? Me: No. Are you going to make a WiiFit 2? Shiggy: Sorry. He pockets the $10 and walks away.
11:36 AM - EXCLUSIVE SHIGGY INTERVIEW IS A SUCCESS!! I have no reason to live any longer.
2 comments 
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07.20.2008 ,
at 4:14 am
Dude… funny shit. Funny shit. This is my new Kotaku, all thanks to this “article.”
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07.22.2008 ,
at 11:26 am
Very funny. I’m adding this site to the daily bored-at-work-web-surfing rounds.
