Frank
Toastmaster
jakeoff
cubansamurai
ALeks_M
Headlines, jasper, link, zelda
Artwork by Alex ab Barrera
Not to let a drunk driving accident slow him down, Shia Lebeouf has been cast as Link in the lead roll for the upcoming Zelda movie. Clearly a pact with the devil was struck, as the annoying actor is seemingly required to star in every major motion picture you ever wished you could star in as a kid. I mean, I was in my backyard with my friends helping the Autobots fight the Decepticons on a cast-iron swing set before this turd was even alive. And much like myself at age 6, he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. I guess the producers of the upcoming blockbuster feel the same way and giving him the role of the green-tuniced mute elf is good old fashioned payback. However, word on the street is that he plays a mean ass ocarina, so his penchant for piping off has paid off.
Regardless of what studio executives think of him, how the fuck does he get these roles? What’s next, Shia as the Don in Godfather IV? Every cast member in Ocean’s 14? I heard he’s up for the lead role in My Life as Tom Cruise (Tom Cruise auditioned, but it doesn’t look good). Don’t worry if you miss him in The Legend of Zelda: Shia’s Awakening; Shia Lebeouf’s amazing acting abilities will also be featured in My ADD Medication Ran Out…Again! this holiday season.
Who is Shia Lebeouf’s agent anyway? The man deserves some sort of a medal.
4 comments 
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08.18.2008 ,
at 3:50 pm
I think he’s simultaneously killing skulls and explaining his acting in that image…
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08.18.2008 ,
at 3:58 pm
Is he gonna fuck Megan Fox on the back of Epona like he did to Bumblebee in Transformers?
If so can somebody take pix?
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08.18.2008 ,
at 4:09 pm
No no no no no nononono NO!
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08.18.2008 ,
at 7:02 pm
I thought Le’Bouf was a brand of French female crotch freshener.
