Frank
Toastmaster
jakeoff
cubansamurai
ALeks_M
Headlines, Toe Fu, animal crossing, ds, funeral
Police Officer Copper announced today the arrest of town proprietor Tom Nook in an alleged organ harvesting ring. Copper and his second in command Officer Booker conducted an investigation into the constant disappearance of local residents after receiving a tip that postmaster Pete the Pelican has been delivering parcels of putrid pounds of animal body parts to various locations in China.
Copper advised Nook would lure new tenants to one of his cottages with promise of quiet town life and a signing bonus of a fishing rod and shovel. After the lease was signed Nook would extort large sums of bells from the new renters all while threatening eviction. After the victim’s bank accounts were bled dry they would disappear with only a letter being sent to fellow neighbors advising they had decided to move. Officer Booker made the connection after noticing all of the letters were written in blood and in Nooks handwriting. Museum curator Blathers was quoted, “It is a great tragedy and my prayers go out to the victim’s families, but it would be greatly appreciated of them to donate whatever bones are recovered for a new exhibit.”
The Roost will be holding a benefit concert with a heart felt performance of K.K. Dirge by K.K. Slider. Donations of gyroids, furniture and stationary will be accepted.
8 comments 
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08.18.2008 ,
at 1:52 pm
How much does an animal spleen go for in China anyway? Just curious…>_>
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08.18.2008 ,
at 2:58 pm
Nook is fuckin’ gangsta!
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08.18.2008 ,
at 4:22 pm
Those poor poor animals.
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08.18.2008 ,
at 4:26 pm
Now I know why hatchets weren’t in stock on certain days.
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08.19.2008 ,
at 12:11 pm
Well, with the high price of gas, what do you expect?!
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08.19.2008 ,
at 6:49 pm
Why didn’t Nook take out Resetti!? He would have been my first target!
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08.24.2008 ,
at 1:09 am
i knew there was something creepy about that town as soon as i moved in
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08.24.2008 ,
at 7:45 pm
I knew Nook was a crook ever since I moved into town. Look at the way he runs his diabolical monopoly of a shack that sells deforestation equipment and even the forest leaves back to the same creatures of said forest. In my book, that’s like the nazis selling the jews their own gold back to them. Now he’s peddling organs. I’m not even going to ask, I already know Nook wants more than my blood
