Concerned Mom
Massouken
CursedGRL
FernFTW
Pan Deterson
Leipzig, agent b, explosions
Hide your mothers and daughters, we’re reporting drunk LIVE from Germany at the Leipzig Games Convention! All the fun and excitement starts right here at the opening press conference! What could possibly go wrong?
Read on for our exclusive coverage!
Traditionally, each German gaming conference cannot commence without the Beer Boot and Bratwurst Oil Drum Dance party and let me tell you, this year’s was a real riot! Authentic music played as children laughed and sang in the crowd and great times were had by all!
Official Leipzig Chairmonster Hans Grüppenshtchallerschmidtzenstachen began the conference with a riveting monologue about his mesmerizing eyes, last night’s karaoke adventure and most importantly, his love for all things video gaming. After he gently combed his pit hair for the audience, he begged us to come closer…
CLOSER he yelled, CLOSER! Feel me inside your face! We were pulled in to his magnetic charm with a sweeping force, wary of our impending fate as Hans assured us to come EVEN CLOSER!
HANS ATTACK! YOU TRICKY BASTARD! HE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL!
HOLY FUCK, WHAT IS HE DOING HE’S SUMMONING DEMONS TO THE STAGE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
OH MY GOD THEY’RE THREATENING TO KILL US ALL IF WE DON’T ADHERE TO THEIR DEMANDS
WHAT THE FUCK THAT ONE HAS A LASER AND HE’S SHOOTING IT AT AUDIENCE MEMBERS GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
AAAAAHHHH NOW THEY’RE ALL SHOOTING LASERS OUT OF THEIR EYES AND TITS AND DICKS THIS IS CHAOS SOMEBODY HELP US EVERYONE IS DYING
4 comments 
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08.19.2008 ,
at 4:28 pm
I knew the Leipzig Games Convention wouldn’t end well, especially after last year’s contest to see who could kill the most pigs in 5 minutes.
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08.19.2008 ,
at 8:31 pm
Who says video games don’t kill kids.
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08.19.2008 ,
at 9:12 pm
I originally started reading this article 5 hours ago, but I couldnt take my eyes off of the flashing Hans Attack… and thats the last thing I remember…about a half hour ago I woke up in the back of a 1965 VW Beetle with a mouthful of partially chewed bratwurst and an uncanny understanding of mechanical craftsmanship.
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08.22.2008 ,
at 10:10 am
The after party:[img]http://www.labeerfestival.com/LA_Beer_Festival.jpg[/img]
