CursedGRL
FernFTW
toastmaster
Richard
ManOfTeal
jasper, nintendogs, wii
Plankinstanc, Connecticut - With the obviously upcoming release of Nintendo’s mega franchise Nintendogs for the Wii console, the domestic animal death toll is predicted to rise sharply. Packed with the patented Nintendogs Collar-mote & Nun-bone, players get to experience all the excitement of owning a dog without the embarrassment of being featured on When Animals Attack.
Neil Gimberwitz, from Kimpercall, Connecticut chimes in, “I bought a dog thinking it would help me score a lay. Instead, it turned into a poor, needy, unshaven girlfriend who would chew a hole through your car stereo if you locked her in there with the windows rolled up. Do yourself a favor and find a kennel that doesn’t ask any questions and a copy of Nintendogs immediately.”
With the advent of this popular game, neglect and general discomfort around the family pet has become overbearing. The “treats” industry has fallen into a pit of despair. Children have quickly forgotten about having to walk their pets when they can walk their digital doggies from the comfort of their Aero Bed.
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“Scruffy used to bark all the time. I couldn’t just turn him off and watch a porn like I can now. I’d turn on Butter Butts 9 and he’d just be sitting there…judging me,” said Nintendogs owner, Jeremiah McDoogleton.
The following chart displays the life expectancy of your pet after making a Nintendogs purchase.
Unfortunately, it’s not just owner’s neglect; some of these animals are taking their own lives. Just last week, tragedy struck the Shipfield family during a quiet evening at local Duck ‘n Jab Chinese eatery. After 20 days of playing Nintendogs in front of their Labrador retriever, their “best friend” jumped out of their Honda Accord and directly into the drive through window. Once inside, the dog wedged itself into a working fryer, forcing the establishment to change its menu for weeks.
2 comments 
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09.3.2008 ,
at 10:35 pm
That blinking ad is hypnotizing. For some reason I want to send this site $67.82. Weird!
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09.5.2008 ,
at 7:22 am
Cracking up at 8:21am at work. Well done!
