Father-To-Be Practices Parenting By Leveling His Orc Mage

Kent on September 22nd, 2008

In a surprising moment of maturity, part-time programmer and avid gamer Brendan Carlson has announced that he plans to raise a new World of Warcraft character in anticipation of becoming a real life dad.

“The second my girlfriend told me, I knew what I had to do. I sold my character to some dude in China and started back at level 1,” said Carlson, who went so far as to name his new character BrendanJr. “He killed his first kobold today. I was tearing it up!”

Carlson’s girlfriend, Tammy Jenkins, remained unimpressed, stating, “I thought that starting a family would be a way to get Brendan off the computer. But now he’s constantly talking about how he’s ‘raiding for two.’ He even got that silly shirt made up.”

“Did she seriously say that?” Carlson replied. “What a [expletive deleted]!”

Carlson has certainly taken this opportunity to redouble his World of Warcraft efforts.

“I’ve already learned a lot from my first character. Falcond started as an honorable Paladin, but I made some bad choices, got him involved with the wrong guild, and before I knew it he was looting corpses to pay off his mead dealer,” Carlson explained.

Not satisfied with simply bringing real-world parenting skills into the realm of Azeroth, Carlson has decided to introduce elements from World of Warcraft into his child’s day-to-day life. “I decorated his nursery to be an exact replica of Dire Maul. There is a severed dragon head right above his crib. My kid’s dreams are going to be SICK!”