Analysts: Financial Crisis Caused By Fallout 3 Pre-Orders

Kent on October 3rd, 2008

During a press conference this morning, Fed chairman Ben Bernanke identified the primary cause of America’s current financial crisis: Risky financial decisions by fans desperately attempting to secure copies of the upcoming video game Fallout 3.

The widely anticipated sequel to the long-dormant series, Fallout 3 has created such buzz that gamers are taking out new mortgages, selling their cars and valuable family heirlooms, and racking up massive credit card debt in order to ensure that they are among the first to receive the game’s elusive “Survivor Edition,” which comes with a fully functional PIP-Boy 3000*.

“I’ve been on a trading floor for three decades, and I’ve never seen anything like this,” said David Greis, a Wall Street day trader. “Those goddamn nerds are ruining the entire economy.”

Even Bethesda Game Studios, the developer behind the game, was taken aback. “It’s shocking,” says Chris Weaver, Bethesda founder. “I mean, we expected the game to be a hit, but we never thought that it would basically refute capitalism. People just want this game badly. Maybe Marx was right…”

Despite the financial meltdown, fans remain insistent on purchasing the game. “I sold my kidney, Mom “volunteered” hers…I’m so getting this game,” exclaimed Rob Carolla as he stood outside a Best Buy in Norman, Oklahoma. “I even bought a home generator in case the electrical grid gets attacked by a band of looters or something. Although calling it a home generator at this point is a bit inaccurate. It’s more of a park bench laptop generator now.”

Fallout 3 hits stores on October 28th, which is also the date analysts expect the stock market to crash again.

*Functions only as a clock. Cannot improve levels of charisma or strength.