Frank
Toastmaster
jakeoff
cubansamurai
ALeks_M
Massouken, kirby
In a tragic turn of events, Kirby, the lovable pink blob with a voracious appetite, was admitted to the ER yesterday suffering from violent spasms, fever, and the inability to swallow anything. Preliminary reports indicate that the rotund rascal inhaled an alley cat in a failed attempt to absorb the feline’s natural abilities to land on her feet and get free food by annoyingly rubbing up against people’s legs. Instead of acquiring the grace, agility, and poise of a cat, Kirby’s dinner gave him the viral zoonotic neuroinvasive disease known more commonly as Rabies.
Doctors are as of yet uncertain about how to treat Kirby, since he’s, you know, a fucking squishy pink ball that eats everything it sees. They have high hopes that if they can just get Kirby to eat something else that he’ll simply purge the virus naturally. So far, their attempts at force feeding the Nintendo mascot other healthy animals like dogs and parrots have proven unsuccessful.
We’ll have more news on this story as it develops, or you can look forward to a heartfelt 8-bituary soon.
2 comments 
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10.6.2008 ,
at 1:55 pm
That is the most godawful image I’ve ever seen
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10.6.2008 ,
at 4:48 pm
“Doctors are as of yet uncertain about how to treat Kirby, since he’s, you know, a fucking squishy pink ball that eats everything it sees.” Haha fucking amazing
