Pro Gamer Unable To Top Vagina Live Leaderboards

B Miggs on October 22nd, 2008

To run the charts of every major gaming leaderboard, a man has to make some sacrifices. Marathon score sessions mean no sleep, no exercise, reckless diet and prolonged agoraphobia. It takes every ounce of social and hygenic restraint to be #1. But all that button mashing tedium could be “in vein” if a gamer ever plans to own a top ranking in the most acclaimed ability tier ever created - the newly revealed Vagina Live Leaderboards.

“It’s just not fair, man. Not fuckin’ fair.” mumbled top Peggle/Uno/NHL 2006 leaderboard champ Fata1F1teR as he nestled into the fetal position on his mother’s crumb-hungry rug. “How am I ever supposed to get any vagina if I have to collect 3,000 pieces of Power Fruit a day? They’re systematically keeping gamers out of the equation. It’s like they have GameSharks for dicks.” Rapper Ice T, who initially proposed the competitive leaderboard as his first action after being elected President of Vagina City, was unwaivered by the gamer’s cries. “Man, shut the fuck up and go get some vagina, white boy. There’s more than enough out there for everybody, trust me. I’ve pretty much had them all.” More on this story as it grows up and gets a real job and fucks around and accidentally ends up on the Damn, I Hate Being Married Leaderboards which coincidentally has just as little crossover potential with the previously depicted Vagina Live Leaderboards.