Video games and rap practically share the same birthday. They both suffered equal struggles to move from being niche entertainment facets for obsessive, socially deprived teenagers to being universally embraced as billion dollar industries. Both of them evolved past their simplistic pattern based grassroots and now focus more on blinged out visuals and over the top productions. But the parallels don’t stop there. Ever wonder where these insane video game character ideas come from? How do we continuously end up playing games that star complete lunatics, totally detracted from realism or normalcy? Well, we just cracked the code. Here are ten rappers and their possibly inspired but definitely just as flashy video game character counterparts. So read on to see where your favorite stars jacked their styles.

“Now I’m fresh, dressed, like a million coin
Threw on my white gloves, with my blue shells on”

Waluigi and the Snoop Dee Oh Double Gee have more in common than just their sickly thin physical frames and penchants for rocking 70’s porn director facial hair -  check Waluigi as he shows up to a Mario Kart race in a purple lowrider. He’s easily one of the most gangsta game characters. Not only does he wear his signature L backwards but I bet he smokes and gets shy-guy eyes. And hell naw, he don’t love no toads.

Like Lil’ Jon, Wario doesn’t really say anything besides a few grunts and catchphrases. Both of them are fat, lust for blinged out anything and command a four second attention span from the entirety of their fanbase. Picture Mario as a legendary golden age MC like Rakim or Big Daddy Kane and then picture Lil’ Jon/Wario as his respective opposite, minus the respect part.

These two have been in the game for a minute and both have consistently failed when it comes to staying relevant by today’s standards. Plus they both surround themselves with even less talented friends, if that’s even possible.

“Got mushrooms (yeah)
And you know it”

Lil’ Wayne and Goomba somehow guest star in everything these days. But would a constantly obnoxious autotune filter save Goomba’s ass from Mario outshining him on his own turf? Nah, he’d still get stomped out by the G.O.A.Ts like Wayne does every time he calls up Jay-Z for a guest verse.

Eminem and Marcus Fenix “Just Don’t Give a Fuck.” Angsty white middle aged suburbanites with stereotyped black friends and gritty surroundings. Both of them struggled with “the underground” side of things. In Em’s case, it was rising up against reverse racism as he punchlined his way to the top of his local subcultured battle rap circuit, while Marcus just basically Lancered Locusts in half when they burrowed up from da streets.

The main difference between these two is that one of them actually loses a life after you shoot him enough times. Curtis Jackson and his average video game counterpart both couldn’t voice act their way through a middle school youth center Hip Hopera but that hasn’t stopped either of these mumbling chart toppers from moving Units. But while we’re championing sales, I wonder if Kanye put out a video game that outsold the new 50 Cent game, he’d stop starring in them?

King Hippo is the illest. Notoriously ruthless, brutal, and oddly comfortable with his body mass. But unlike 50, when he goes down, he’s done. Hippo is lucky, though. He’s been mostly respected posthumous, instead of having reels of his old and discarded glory moments duct taped as awkward guest appearances in every single modern video game.

These rappers win the award for best dressed. Prison beanie and hand-me downs from your bigger brother: fresh!

Viewtiful Joe and Kanye West love to dress up in 80’s jumpsuits and head gear like they just came from Kurtis Blow’s garage sale. Joe fast-forwards through imaginary action movie homages and Ye’ raps about the plight of being a Gap store clerk over sped-up chipmunk soul samples. Novelty acts that seemed like a cool idea in a retro revisionist sense but both of them burnt out fast in a matter of years.

TIINGLE TIIIIIING! I mean really, would Tingle Of Love be that sexually absurd compared to every other VH1 reality show? These two play the background behind the more heroic and motivated types. Plus Flav could totally draw you a map to find crack rock treasure in the 80’s! Yeaaaaah boiii!!!

So when did rap and video games stray from being challenging, uniquely original industries that rewarded skill and individualism and instead opt to become dumbed down visual showcases for generic regurgitation? I’m not sure, but I can’t blame them for gettin’ paper. All we can hope is that the new generation takes a break from instantly downloading torrents of their favorite shit and romanticising over gritty violence and spends some time respecting the classics. There’s a whole golden age of forgotten gems out there. School ya selves, newjacks.