They Were Soldiers. They Were Heroes. They Were Losers. : : The -Minus World : Your Distinguished Source For Video Game Comedy

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call of duty

They Were Soldiers. They Were Heroes. They Were Losers.

the -minus world on November 12th, 2008

Here’s a fun fact: Between single player, co-op, and online deathmatch, Minus World writers B Miggs and Massouken collectively played 30 days of Call of Duty 4. Not 30 days based on some arbitrary in-game clock where an hour is a minute or anything like that. 30 actual, entire, real days of devoted service to their country’s patriotic dedication to pump out war games. A fucking month. There are people that have been shipped out and shipped back from real wars in less time.

That’s why it’s with great regret we announce that today, these heroic men will be shipping back to war-torn stretches of distant lands to fight for our country thanks to the release of Call of Duty: World At War. CoD:WaW rewards fans of the previous, far more modern installment by stripping out everything that made it cool and instead letting you play as an old prospector who throws rocks at children from the comfort of his river barrel boat. We don’t really care where the actual historical setting of the game is, and considering B Miggs and Massouken spent most of their last tour of duty running around in circles fragging teenagers from Scandinavia, we doubt they do either.

So here’s wishing you boys the best out there. Do our country proud and be sure to write home often. And please, try to be back in less than 30 fucking days.

5 comments

B Miggs
11.13.2008 ,
at 1:25 am

I was 20 hours on my own, and now with Call of Duty: World at War I plan on spending the next few weeks putting in a solid 7 hour workday to the service.

Massouken
11.13.2008 ,
at 2:26 am

With Miggs fighting the war, I think I’m just going to retire and collect my military pension. I do get a pension for putting nearly 2 weeks of my life into a war video game, right? Right!?

agent b
11.13.2008 ,
at 2:42 am

i am draft dodging the FUCK out of all this bullshit. “my 360 controller was born with flat shoulder buttons.”

Jasper
11.13.2008 ,
at 8:16 am

Send our Troops Home!

cubansamurai
11.17.2008 ,
at 4:51 pm

That is more time than basic training!