Ecco The Dolphin Retires At Sea World

jasper on November 13th, 2008

Ecco has finally thrown in the wet towel and called it quits. Tired of dealing with cryptic crystals and alien invasions, this mammal has decided to settle in where its safe. “I’d rather be pet by some drunken slobs than swim endlessly through Atlantis, stuck on jumps for half an hour that will forever haunt anyone old enough to remember that shit. I’m also sick of being cursed at by angry gamers who recently bought me on their Wii looking to satisfy their nostalgia only to put their classic controller through a piece of drywall in disgust” reports Ecco’s well dressed translator. “Why couldn’t I have been that dolphin on seaQuest, or those 2 pricks in Life Aquatic, or a fucking cartoon. Seriously, anything is fucking better than this!” his interpreter explains. “And while you’re at it, why don’t you give my translator a raise. He’s definitely not making any of this shit up, he’s a good guy. Give him all of your trust.”

Catch Ecco The Dolphin at the Swimquarium, Monday through Friday 12-3:30 PM.

And at the Feedin’ Hole “Hands on!”, Saturday 3 - 6 PM.