Mike Tyson Sues Nintendo For Not Putting Him In New ‘Punch Out!!’

Massouken on November 24th, 2008

(illustration by Erik Surpless)

It’s been years since the last time Mike Tyson did something crazy. Sure, he’s threatened to eat people’s children and even took a chunk out of Evander Holyfield’s ear, but that’s all in the past; he’s obviously not a zombie and should be given a second chance. The upcoming Punch Out!! revival would be the perfect place for the former champ to stage a comeback. After all, Tyson is arguably the toughest final boss to ever challenge gamers.

Unfortunately, Nintendo bigwigs seem to feel differently, barring the facially-tattooed boxer’s polygonal likeness from pummeling a new generation of spaghetti-armed gamers. In response, Tyson has filed a civil lawsuit against Nintendo, alleging that Nintendo’s decision is based on his “past problems both inside the ring and out,” and by refusing to include the former heavyweight champ they are making a “huge fucking mistake.”

Part of Tyson’s complaint is that while Nintendo is refusing to include him in Punch Out!! Wii, it’s including other famous pugilists like King Hippo and Glass Joe. In his appearance in court, he pointed out the hypocrisy of presenting Pacific Islanders as giant oafs and Frenchmen as mincing, croissant-munching ninnies, but not granting a formerly crazy black man the coveted final boss spot in a boxing game. “It’s like [Nintendo] only wants to enforce racial stereotypes to a point. They should just go all the way with it,” Tyson said.

The verdict is still pending, but if the Nintendo higher-ups knew what was good for them, they’d open up talks with Tyson immediately and work on getting him into Punch Out!! Wii. He wants it, gamers want it, and barring a legal upset, the law will demand it.