Hey Kawasaki, Will There Be Any Advertisements For Kawasaki Snowmobiles In “Kawasaki Snowmobiles” For Wii?

B Miggs on May 6th, 2008

Ever wondered how easy it could be to obtain the rights to the most self fellating, rib removing, narcissistically corporate video game adventure of all time? Just “chill” with the ad pals over at Kawasaki! Sure, the game sucks balls (from every glistening angle on the prism of consumerism,) but who cares? Games aren’t about escapism or the ability of the player to face new imaginary worlds. These days they’re about sponsorship and product placement, you dumb yatch! We caught up with the Kawasaki Snowmobile dev team for a quick word on what their new game is really about!

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Call of Duty 5: Future Warfare Announced

agent b on April 4th, 2008

The Call Of Duty series has gone from reenacting the past with its WWII inspired beginnings to the recent success of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which brought the franchise to the high tech battles of today. The next logical step? War of the future, as predicted by the current rate that America is devouring itself. Officially confirmed by Activision, Call Of Duty 5: Future Warfare pits the player in the trenches of the soon-to-be franchise infested rubble of tomorrow…

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Nyko Commissioned To Build Cooling Factory Next To Xbox360 Factory

agent b on March 12th, 2008

Redmond, Washington - Citing massive overheating problems in their Xbox360 factory divisions, mostly bald billionaire computer technology corporation Microsoft has reached out to none other than Nyko for assistance. Nyko, known for their Intercooler360 (as well as their continuous quest to be pretty irrelevant to the video game industry) seemed almost girlishly giddy for the chance to work on such a big project. Our reporters failed to take note of any quotes or additional information, however, mostly because the headline and image ideas for the article seemed funny at the time but somewhere after that, the proverbial comedy well dried up, leaving us with this snarky little cop out of a closing statement.
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