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Archive for the " 8-Bituary " Category
A fresh teeny tiny adorable tombstone popped up in the gaming graveyard this week. Etched in granite, the newly-opened worm buffet reads, “Alicks Cidd.” The misspelling comes as no surprise, as even in death, this mini-mascot garners no respect.
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Classic gaming is reeling from yet another loss of one of its most memorable members. Miniscule police mouse Mappy is believed to have been instantly vaporized after accidentally triggering an IED in a rural Alabama meth lab. The furry five-o was deep undercover and in the process of bringing down a local feline gang suspected of dealing high-grade cat crank. The death certificate has “killt by ‘splosion” listed as the cause of death. This did take place in Alabama after all.
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Not even a knight with a history of battling the undead can forever dodge the bony finger-banging touch of the Grim Reaper. It’s starting to seem like a weekly occurrence that yet another retro icon gets tightly tucked in for the big dirt-nap. This time we bid a final farewell to Arthur, the legendary bitch-slapper of ghouls, ghosts, and goblins.
During a fervent session of Punch Out, not-so-virile teen Kevin Keene was unwittingly sucked into his 12” Sears Roebuck brand television set and thrust into the Nintendo-themed world of Videoland. Quickly realizing the daily routine of female rejection and soiled Bugle Boys he endured in the real world didn’t apply in Videoland, he happily settled into his new environment. Freshly armed with a chic Power Pad belt buckle and Zapper light gun, he adopted the moniker Captain N and elevated his status to superstar in this new realm of licensed characters.
