Animal, Cross Me And I’ll Tell Copper About The OD’ed Animals In Your Closet

B Miggs on November 21st, 2008

To: Agent B

From: B Miggs

I know you had a full day head-start on the whole Animal Crossing: City Folk experience, but I’m formally calling you out. Keeping up with your Exotic collection will be a chore, but my house will be a new era in digital delight due to my full Robot furniture collection winning me extra HRA points. Now that’s something to Wii Speak about with your emo lion and your manic-depressed gorilla while I rock 1,000 bell bags on gold chains around my neck. Coelancanths and Red Snappers will be reeled in by Golden Rods in no time due to my fishing expertise and unrelenting animal crossing behavior.

Animal Crossing City Folk Citizens Launch Neighborhood Crime Watch

the -minus world on November 20th, 2008

While the Animal Crossing community is abuzz with this week’s release of City Folk and what it will bring to the commonwealth, inhabitants have bound together to form a preemptive network determined to collectively protect each other from potential crimes. The hopeful street gazers promise to keep the streets, rivers, beaches and woods safe from harm and corruption by issuing a weekly newsletter detailing recent events to look out for, and The Minus World was fortunate enough to secure a copy for our loyal readers.

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Real Life Animal Crossing Project Is A Carnivorous Bloodbath

B Miggs on October 16th, 2008

Clatzysprass, Texas - Billionaire oil tycoon and big time Animal Crossing fan Lucky Lempers found out the hard way that wild animals wearing t-shirts in a gated community doesn’t work as well in real life as it does in his favorite game. Lucky started the project as a seemingly gentle homage and even went as far as to move in with his animal townsfolk and live amongst them. He set up each animal in a home in hopes that they would take to the village and trade their furniture. Tragically, within minutes the entire project became savagely chaotic as dozens of animals turned against him and each other in a desperate fang and tooth gnashing war of hell. Just as things seemed their worst, the creatures found a cache of shovels, axes and fishing rods and a deadly weapons battle complicated the equation further.

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Nintendo, I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down

Toe Fu on August 26th, 2008

Remember Kanye West went on that televised Hurricane Katrina fundraiser, carefully crafted his thoughts and then eloquently stated that George Bush doesn’t care about black people? Then Mike Meyers went all cross-eyed and opened a lemonade stand in his pants…. priceless. After looking over Nintendo’s holiday season lineup I wouldn’t be surprised to see Lil’ Wayne at a Bernie Mac memorial declaring that Shigeru Miyamoto doesn’t care about hardcore gamers.
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Animal Crossing Tragedy Exposed

Toe Fu on August 18th, 2008

Police Officer Copper announced today the arrest of town proprietor Tom Nook in an alleged organ harvesting ring. Copper and his second in command Officer Booker conducted an investigation into the constant disappearance of local residents after receiving a tip that postmaster Pete the Pelican has been delivering parcels of putrid pounds of animal body parts to various locations in China.
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