A Letter From Our Girlfriend

the -minus world on May 14th, 2008

Babycakes, we’re sorry, we lost our phone and we couldn’t get back to you. Plus we’ve been busy. Look, honestly, we like you and all but you aren’t the only hot chick out there who wants to date a video game comedy website. Our RSS subscriber list looks like a modeling agency on “hot girls only allowed” day. I mean, just today we got 5 emails from these German girls talking about “scheizer” or something and how they can make us hard for up to 36 hours. We even got letters from a rich Saudi prince who is promising to give us a bunch of money! So many women visit us every day and rub their mouse pointers over and over on our navbars, how can you expect us to just stay tied down to one? It’s not you baby, it’s us. We’re just not ready for a relationship right now. So run along and don’t get all crazy and stuff on us and send us death threats and egg our blogging software. F*cking psycho!

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EA Announces “Sims: Girlfriend”

jasper on March 2nd, 2008

EA has just announced an all-new Xbox 360 exclusive for this winter, Sims Girlfriend! Pwned PS3! Pwned in the ass! Sims Girlfriend supposedly will include exciting new features like real time nail polish and makeup removal. EA also claims there will be a way to “sync up” with her time of the month. God, I pray it doesn’t sync up using the Live Vision Camera… Personally, I already have a girlfriend who leaves me broke andfeeling like crap. Kinda like every EA game I buy. This holiday season can’t come soon enough!
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