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Archive for the " gamestop " Category
Dozens of fans were left disappointed last night as they waited in line for the release of this year’s only legally allowable football game, Madden 2009. Many were promised new additions and overhauls in the annual line but ended up just getting more of the same. Some even wondered why they blindly wait every year when the line is in no rush to advance past what it was a year before. However, EA’s president (who takes his wife to the same Crab N’ Clam Hutch for dinner every Friday) has pointed out that there are a few improvements for 2009’s line:
Ciao friends! I make more money than even police! So Stallio makes many game buy and trade?
Stallio love game video many store trip. When game video is not yet arrive, Stallio becomes great pre-ordering! Phone rings and Stallio rolls bicycle ride to make poetry finger with newest of friend!
But last night Stallio reach great distress when lady is under blanket practice loud mouth scherade… phone call interrupt! Gamestop call to remind Disney Gem Magic Game Video arrive? Lady not impress! She leave in the night to great loneliness and she never return.
Don’t ever call while Stallio is making sex! It’s like make a banana in my business!
Ciao friends!
Gamestop Headquarters - 9th ring of Hell, NJ - My name is Naniel Pezzywinks and I am 29 years old. I can grow a full beard if I want to. My collection of poseable anime statuettes has been linked to by Destructoid over 6 times, 4 of which received comments (3 of which were me.)
What a shitty month it’s been! First I broke my Highlander sword in the backyard. Then I lost my favorite set of 759 sided dice in Hot Topic. I don’t have to tell you, friends, the pewter goblin goblet is half empty ‘ova here’.
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More: Headlines, gamestop, jasper, pre-orders, warcraft
Look, Christopher. I’m sure your resident maternal unit is really fantastic at a lot of things, like navigating a rickety shopping cart through a post apocalyptic TJ Max clearance sale and successfully nuking two Hungry Mans at once for your drifter stepfather. But please, don’t send her to fucking Gamestop. I don’t even want to be there and I write about video games for a living. The shit in there would make her tiny fucking head implode.
You’re 5, your handwriting sucks, and your taste in gaming either also sucks or has been strategically placed outside of your dirty little hands by the powers-that-ESRB. Your snotty, grubby, wrinkled Christmas list does not serve as a suitable hall pass for ma dukes to successfully traverse these dark pits of gaming depravity like a young, misguided (but still shockingly unibrowed) Jennifer Connoly in Labyrinth. You want to dabble in the vices of the adult world? Do what we did when we were 12 and we wanted porn and booze: steal them from your friend’s dad. There won’t be a line and you won’t need any additional worthless MadCatz peripherals or an unofficial Prima strategy guide, you stupid little failure.
