Pierce Brosnan Begs Stoned College Kids To Stop Shooting Him In The Face

agent b on March 5th, 2008

Some Russian Bunker Level - After years of rumble pack driven violence, Pierce Brosnan has reportedly reached his breaking point. At a seminar held in a fictitious polygonal conference center in which no people attended, the former Bond actor pleaded to the gaming community to play something new. “It’s become an awful embarrassment. I agreed to be in a video game ten years ago and it’s been a decade of insults since. Everyone just sees me on the street and points finger guns at me and yells the Goldeneye multiplayer death theme.” Pierce then muttered a wild, unintelligible British rant which made no sense but was probably still really sexy for the ladies. Sadly, co-star Natalya Simonova was unable to be reached for comment due to being constantly killed by bunker guards, forcing Pierce to repeatedly restart his speech.

The Minus World staff celebrated the event by rigging a Gameshark to our copy of Goldeneye so we could all play as Pierce and shoot eachother with rockets and lasers for hours on end. Fuck Halo, this will never get old. Big thanks to King Brosnan for actually lending his likeness to a video game unlike that batshit lunatic Tom Cruise who actually deserves the digital bullets.
Read on