Uh, What The Hell Just Happened?

Life Force Pilots on May 1st, 2008

By Life Force Pilots

Seriously, WTF was that??? I’m never going on a vaguely titled “space mission to save the planet” again. We were in space for what, 5 whole minutes? After that I’m pretty sure we entered a human body or something? I just remember fighting a giant brain with arms that shot lasers. Were those Easter Island statue heads that were trying to murder us? I think i’m getting flashbacks of suicidal fire eagles? That was like the boat tunnel scene in Willy Wonka except it lasted six days and instead of chocolate we won an absolute guarantee that we’ll be spending the rest of our lives in therapy. I think there’s stomach acid in my mind. Nobody is even gonna remember whatever the hell we just went through. At least the Contra guys are gonna be famous. They might even get a bunch of sequels, even though their dumb code was in our game before theirs! We quit, Konami. Find a new set of space chimps to do your deranged biddings.

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