Link: Hero Or Menace?

Ben Goins on August 26th, 2008

Artwork by: Tyler Bronis

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Shia Lebeouf Cast In Zelda Movie

jasper on August 17th, 2008

Artwork by Alex ab Barrera

Not to let a drunk driving accident slow him down, Shia Lebeouf has been cast as Link in the lead roll for the upcoming Zelda movie. Clearly a pact with the devil was struck, as the annoying actor is seemingly required to star in every major motion picture you ever wished you could star in as a kid. I mean, I was in my backyard with my friends helping the Autobots fight the Decepticons on a cast-iron swing set before this turd was even alive. And much like myself at age 6, he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. I guess the producers of the upcoming blockbuster feel the same way and giving him the role of the green-tuniced mute elf is good old fashioned payback. However, word on the street is that he plays a mean ass ocarina, so his penchant for piping off has paid off.

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Super Smash Bros. Brawl - The Movie

the -minus world on March 31st, 2008

With all the wildly original video game source material Hollywood has to work with these days, you’d think they’d be able to get it right every now and then. Maybe its because the more serious stuff gets handled too seriously while the fun stuff gets ignored completely. Regardless, we’re sick of sitting idly and waiting for our favorite fan service fighting game to get made into the movie we’ve all dreamed of so we’re going to get things moving ourselves. We’ve got $37.50 in Gamestop store credit to start funding but we’re confident that once these studio execs see the epic cast of celebrities we’ve put together, Super Smash Bros. Brawl - The Movie will practically sell itself…

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A Letter From Chico Christmas

the -minus world on March 20th, 2008

Hey Chico,

Thanks for checking the site and sending us your drawing!

Frankly, we’re amazed at the attention to detail you guys put into this costume. The high heel boots n’ spurs, the hairy shoulders…you even figured out a way to sew buttons into your actual skin, just like the real Link! I mean he does that all the time when he’s riding horseback on his way to a MENTAL INSTITUTION, YOU INSANE FUCK?!?!

We here at the Minus World Headquarters had a 45 minute debate as to whether or not the drawing had breasts or see-through pockets with tic-tacs inside them. Then we repeatedly gouged our own eyes until DYFS showed up and found your letter. There are probably far better ways we could’ve handled this situation but our current stability levels (which are floating around “hopelessly paranoid and misanthropic” thanks to this letter) kept us from doing things any smoother. Now the tears only climb back in when we cry. Merry Christmas, Chico!
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We Can’t Tell If This Turns Us On Or Not

the -minus world on March 5th, 2008

via DS Fanboy

Fuck it, of course it does.  These sassy lasses could get the hookshot any day of the week.