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Archive for the " mario " Category
Every four years, we have a choice. A choice that determines the direction we as a country move. A choice that affects not only our country, but each and every country across the world. A choice now between two men, one of which will lead us as President of the United States of America. However, we’re not the only ones preparing to elect a new president. All across the Mushroom Kingdom patriotic citizens are intent to vote on the issues that matter to them: Warp Pipe reform, gold coin taxes, the threat of Koopa extremists, and bringing the Toad troops home.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Minus World presents our “October Surprise”: Thwomp the Vote ‘08!
From now until November 4th when you, the people, will have the chance to vote for your candidate at Minus World Election HQ, we will be your #1 source of video game election news. Expect nothing but the most hard-hitting, unbiased reports on the candidates and their policies from our award-winning news team, starting right now with our exclusive coverage of last night’s first debate between Mario and Luigi.
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More: Thwomp The Vote, luigi, mario
Thinking of being Super Mario for Halloween but want to trim a few bucks off the costume? Start drinking heavily, eating deep fried bacon donuts and generally living the reckless, sleepless, disgustingly abhorrent lifestyle of your favorite video game comedy bloggers. Cheers!
In a bizarre turn of events, video game savant and cult personality Billy Mitchell has reportedly taken a hostage in his hometown of Hollywood, Florida. According to early reports, Mitchell was seen at a local video arcade, where he began ranting about “honor and respect” after jamming his finger on the Centipede trackball several times in a row while trying to set yet another world record. Mitchell snapped, exiting the arcade in a cloud of stray mullet hairs and driving to the construction site of his new multi-story Mega-Rickey’s Restaurant. He then grabbed his assistant Kaylee around the waist and ascended into the construction site, where he has begun to make a series of increasingly implausible demands.
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More: Kent, donkey kong, mario
The 1980’s were a magical era where glitzy teenage passion ruled the streets, video games came to life and anybody with a tube of hair gel could get inside Heather Graham’s vagina. It was a time when Michael J Fox was allowed to drive and holograms confused and amazed us. However, time has been an evil wench and we have forgotten much of what we learned in that era. Today’s video games are all about the flashy graphics and over the top super moves but there are many lessons to be remembered from that glorious decade. And no, none of them involve the Power Glove.
Dr. Mario has long been the pinnacle of physician perfection, but his penchant for prescribing fen phen to Princess Peach in exchange for filthy sexual perversions has been exposed! The mustachioed MD may be eager to mete out illegal medications, but the Mushroom Kingdom medical board has no mercy for medicinal malfeasance; Dr. Mario’s debauchery cost him his doctorate.
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Super Mario Super Sluggers is on its way for Wii, but did the pumped-up plumber peak up his pecs precariously? The pipes he plunges into aren’t the only thing he’s mainlining these days! Somebody needs to bat clean-up for this overall’ed overachiever!
Finally! Nintendo and Sega just jogged through the toxins of stark overpopulated protest to bring us the most deadly-to-inhale video game of our barely breathable summer. Depicting a much more accurate Beijing festival of treacherous athleticism, Mario & Sonic team up to most likely die in unison. Who will win first!?
So pump your fists and cheer for our species before we’re eradicated by smog and acid rain . Go Olympics!
Travel the dusty inner tunnels of any video game message board and you’ll likely be struck with the fear that popular, non-traditional video game outings like Wii Fit will be the death of conventional gaming as we know it. We’ve heard their Chicken Little-ing; Wii Fit will supposedly usher in an era where casual gamers (i.e. your mother and her hiked-jean sporting peers) will help amass such great sales that companies will shift focus towards their demographic, thus leaving us pale cherubs abandoned in our gameless dens of nerdery. Gamestops will crumble, thumbs will petrify and Wii mote wielding senior citizens will rule the streets like a zombie apocalypse riding Rascals. Bullshit. We gamers been have through far worse crazes than this and survived the aftermath A-OK…
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More: John Madden, agent b, death of gaming, mario, wii, wii fit
