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Archive for the " Massouken " Category
Gears of War introduced gamers to the perfect marriage of superior firepower and noisy backyard barbarism: The Lancer. You know, in case filling a Locust Drone with a clip and a half wasn’t an option and you just had no other choice but to cut him in twain from crown to crotch. Of course, the chainsaw part of the gun was instantly more popular, but its attachment to an assault rifle helps the Lancer appeal to both trigger-happy NRA members and burly, bearded lumberjacks.
To celebrate the release of Gears of War 2, we at The Minus World have crafted a list of five other ways to use the Lancer, from the practical to the ridiculous. And no, not a one includes violently maiming your annoying neighbors, you sicko!
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More: Gears of War, Massouken
Addressing a group of loyal followers at a rally in the hotly-contested swing level of Vanilla Dome, veep hopeful Daisy said that putting Mario and her into the Mushroom House was a “task from God.”
The group applauded her statement, seemingly ready for the divine mission placed before them. One especially devout supporter yelled, “I accept the Lord’s mission!” The righteousness took a turn for the negative, however, when the gathering started chanting in unison, “God hates Luigi!”
Daisy wasted no time appealing further to the rapturous crowd of Pro-Mario supporters, outlining various other “tasks from God” Mario and her needed help accomplishing.
Remember the days of punishingly difficult games? The NES was home to many, including Castlevania, Blaster Master, Ninja Gaiden, Abadox, and of course the Mega Man series. These were the titles that invented the art of throwing your controller at the wall and put many gamers on the path to early male-pattern baldness. Well, ready your Spackle and take off that toupé - Mega Man 9 is now available on PSN, WiiWare, and XBLA thanks to the creative sadists over at Capcom. Will the Blue Bomber’s triumphant 8-bit return make you release a Mega Buster in your pants, or is it a failed retro revival destined for the scrap heap?
Playboy extraordinaire and eligible bachelor Massouken celebrated his birthday this week with the Minus Team at Dave & Busters and the night was a fantastic plunge into the depths of the human brain. We were in a gaming paradise that would make any girl blush at the site of our male comradeship and masculinity. Without any sympathy for birthdays, Massouken got trumped by B Miggs at Mario Kart Arcade 3 to 1. Then he came back with a mallet of manly on the air hockey table, kicking some Miggs ass back to behind the lower 500 wing in high school where he found himself stoned as usual (visual depiction below B Miggs represented by the trucks.)
Plug In, Turn On, Blip Out: An Interview with 8 Bit Weapon
Krappy Kidz Korner - Hannah Montana World Tour
Rappers And Video Game Characters Separated At Birth
Pro Gamer Unable To Top Vagina Live Leaderboards
Thwomp The Vote ‘08 - Luigi’s Street Promo Campaign Team Hits Hard
Pixel Parody: Blaster Master Destroys Nascar Race
Nintendo Announces “Jack Shit” For 2009
F***ing C**K S***ing New Microsoft Patent Censoring XBL in Real Time, You A** Splunking F*****s
Catholic Priest Arrested For Developing New “Touch Generations” Game
Antique antics:
Wario And Waluigi Finally Get Laid: Meet Deach And Paisy
Developing Charity: When Game Developers Give Back To The Community
The Resident Evil Activity Book For Kids
Thanks again for all the support and please check out our sponsor this week Full Sail University.
Have a great weekend!
- The Minus World
With both campaigns hunkering down for the next few weeks and only one presidential debate remaining, pundits and spinsters are increasingly injecting their own opinions into this historic election. While we at The Minus World pride ourselves on being unbiased (this is a no-spin warp zone after all), it’s important to take a long, hard look at how the media, in light of Tuesday’s town hall debate, is seemingly attempting to color public opinion either red or green. Read on
When was the last time you played a game that intentionally tried to get into your head and turn your puppy dog dreams into nightmares about hell hounds rending flesh from the bones of babies? And no, Mega Man 9 doesn’t count. It’s probably been a while; horror games are few and far between now. However, the Silent Hill series has long been the prime destination for gamers intent on getting grossed out. Where else would you go for disturbing sexual metaphors mixed with some grotesque displays of the human anatomy? Well, besides the local free clinic.
Silent Hill Homecoming has shambled into stores, leaving a trail of blood and bile in its wake. Will this latest entry make gamers shit their pants out of fear, or buyer’s remorse?
In a tragic turn of events, Kirby, the lovable pink blob with a voracious appetite, was admitted to the ER yesterday suffering from violent spasms, fever, and the inability to swallow anything. Preliminary reports indicate that the rotund rascal inhaled an alley cat in a failed attempt to absorb the feline’s natural abilities to land on her feet and get free food by annoyingly rubbing up against people’s legs. Instead of acquiring the grace, agility, and poise of a cat, Kirby’s dinner gave him the viral zoonotic neuroinvasive disease known more commonly as Rabies.
As part of our continuing coverage of this monumental election, we’re bringing you our fair and balanced report on tonight’s Vice Presidential debate between Daisy and Toadsworth. The only debate scheduled between the two, this was seen by many as an important step for both contenders. This was where the pair could discuss their own ideas as well as solidify the platforms of their respective parties. Daisy played up her executive experience - from her entry into politics as the mayor of Frappe Snowland to her big move to governing the frigid Snow Cap galaxy - as Toadsworth relayed his long history serving the Mushroom Kingdom as the chairman of the Squad To Ally Regions committee, which seeks to unite disparate levels of the kingdom into a single world.
The stage was set for the two would-be Veeps. The chance to bolster support for their partners and prove to the public who was best suited for the job was here.
Trouble getting that Provisional License? Angry judge throw the book at you for going 90 in a school zone…again? Old age making it tough to remember which side of the road to drive on? Fret not, distressed drivers - the F-Zero Driving School is here to help!
While the Call of Duty series took a huge step away from its WWII roots and did a bang-up job at showing gamers what modern warfare is like, there are still some games out there intent on reliving the past. Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway revisits the ultimately doomed Operation Market Garden, which was supposed to end the war in time for the vets to go home and dress up as Santa for their kids. But you’re here for a video game review, not a history lesson, right? Well, suck it up, soldier; you’re going to learn something either way. Does Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway deserve the Medal of Honor or is it FUBAR, AWOL, and SNAFU?
