Developing Charity: When Game Developers Give Back To The Community

B Miggs on September 23rd, 2008

Philanthropy at its finest, marching for marketing, or hungry for humanity, Nintendo has taken an active role in the community over the years. Whether it was giving Wii’s to Children’s Hospitals, Giving DSs To Underprivileged Kids, or Passing out Wario’s Flatulation to Los Angelites, they’ve done a great job of giving back. Pressure on their odd lack of competition peers has lead to some good things, some bad things, and some shit that I would just plain shed a single tear for if I ever saw.

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Bill Gates’ New Summer Mansion Exposed!

Massouken on August 14th, 2008

Minus World spies (i.e. our new interns posing as cleaning people) have recently discovered Bill Gates’ newest summer mansion, dubbed Ring Red. This beautiful Spanish-inspired villa sits on 360 acres of farmland within the vast Washington countryside. In light of Microsoft’s recent console problems, the design of this multi-million dollar home may seem a bit inconsiderate. But rest assured that even Gates has felt the pinch after collectively donkey punching hundreds of thousands of consumers. He was forced to cut an airstrip from the original blueprint, as well as the purchase of (another) private jet. That’s a lot worse than being without your shiny TV game box and game tapes for 6 to 8 weeks.

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The Xbox 360 ‘Red Ring of Death’ Apology Manual

Massouken on August 5th, 2008

Ah, the ill-fated Xbox 360 Red Ring of Death, how we fear thy ways. After all, with a 16% failure rate, it could happen to anyone. For some of us, it already has. Multiple times. And as much as we love spending a half hour coaxing Microsoft’s customer service into sending us a “coffin” (the sad cardboard box used to mail back your deceased console) only to receive yet another broken replacement, sometimes its easier to just give up. Well then, the least that Microsoft could do is give us a few ideas of what to do with this giant, expired paperweight of failure. That’s why we propose the official Red Ring of Death Apology Manual, printed and paid for by Microsoft themselves, of course. Besides, what else are you gonna do with the damn thing?
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Xbox 360’s 65nm Jasper Chipset, I Accept Your Nomination

jasper on May 8th, 2008

The lord of the console has spoken! Today, Microsoft has officially announced their new smaller, sexier Xbox 360 chipsets for this August. Release the doves and sing Allelu. Do I take this as a random coincidence, totally unrelated to everyone’s favorite factopia of a blog, le Minsu World? You bet your fat ass I don’t. This ain’t no freakin’ coincidence. This is an act of uncut compassion. That’s not an overheating processor you see, that white smoke means they’ve elected a new pope gaming god with the blood of man: ME! I gracefully accept this prestigious honor and humbly bow down before B Diddy Gates the lord of gaming and ask for his money blessing. I promise not to let you down Microsoft as I wave at every parade and shake hands in the streets with wheelchair children until the sun sets on your great financial kingdom, Amen.

Your elected Lord,

Jasper (XBL ID: AndyJ710)

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Nyko Commissioned To Build Cooling Factory Next To Xbox360 Factory

agent b on March 12th, 2008

Redmond, Washington - Citing massive overheating problems in their Xbox360 factory divisions, mostly bald billionaire computer technology corporation Microsoft has reached out to none other than Nyko for assistance. Nyko, known for their Intercooler360 (as well as their continuous quest to be pretty irrelevant to the video game industry) seemed almost girlishly giddy for the chance to work on such a big project. Our reporters failed to take note of any quotes or additional information, however, mostly because the headline and image ideas for the article seemed funny at the time but somewhere after that, the proverbial comedy well dried up, leaving us with this snarky little cop out of a closing statement.
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