Somebody Give Bubble Man A Pet Monkey

agent b on March 19th, 2008

Mega Man 2’s “Bubble Man” may seem to have things on lock within the confining context of his own underwater estate, rife with deadly piranhas, spiked corridors and killer….shrimp? But put Bubble Man side-by-side with his projectile thematic robo-brothers at the annual Dr. Wily Lab Creation Convention Picnic and his laughable little bubble blasts look straight up pathetic in comparison. I mean, check what his co-workers can do: Metal Man resides in a decapitating hell factory where he constantly trains himself to shoot violent spinning gear blades at the series’ protagonist, Air Man, Wood Man and Heat Man are all masters of their respective deadly elements, and Flash Man can fucking stop time. Bubble Man? He shoots bubbles, and bubbles only catch the attention of puppies, three-year olds, and Phil Lesh fans.

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Forget Lolcats, Gaming With Lolchinchillas Is Where It’s At

the -minus world on March 14th, 2008

Hit the jump for more!

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PETA Member Busted for Recreating Super Monkey Ball Stage in His Driveway

B Miggs on March 13th, 2008

Well, this story really hits home. A PETA worker has been arrested and publicly beaten after turning his front lawn into a dangerous simian obstacle course. What nerve! His monkeys, Scrunchy and Chia Pet’s Son have been captured and contained by local authority figures. “Have you ever seen that movie ‘Outbreak’?” asks a neighbor. “Yeah, well it was just like that. But with more balls! The whole neighborhood stunk like monkey shit in a hamster ball. I said those exact words to my wife. She didn’t believe me! Now guess who’s picking up the kids from soccer practice while the other one sits at home watching Orange County Choppers gripping a can of Natty Ice. That’s right ‘honey’! Pass me a cold one and scoop up the brats! Scoops!”

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