Prince Recast As Star In ‘Prince Of Persia’ Movie

jasper on September 19th, 2008

In a bold move to boost sales, the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince has recently been cast as the lead in the anticipated audible groan inducing Prince of Persia movie.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Long ago in medieval Persia, a confusing Prince emerges from the ashes of a war torn city, topless, lusting for blood. He will have to use the Dagger of Time, seductive voice, and sexual ambivalence to defeat the evil homophobe and confusingly sleep with his interested wife. Cringe as the Prince must escape the emotionally uplifting yet nonsensical poisonous Purple Rain. Performing magic with a penis shaped guitar at the Super Bowl, Prince must save his own kingdom by reversing time back to when he was even relevant. With a little luck, and a lot of mascara, this Prince might have just what it takes to sell enough tickets to pay the intern’s gas stipend for coming in today and emailing you this press release.

Pre-order your tickets today you sexy mother f*cker.

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jasper on September 9th, 2008

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