Ya Right
Toe Fu
FPCreator2000
The Retroist
Frank
Toastmaster
Archive for the " Plusses & Minuses " Category
Remember the days of punishingly difficult games? The NES was home to many, including Castlevania, Blaster Master, Ninja Gaiden, Abadox, and of course the Mega Man series. These were the titles that invented the art of throwing your controller at the wall and put many gamers on the path to early male-pattern baldness. Well, ready your Spackle and take off that toupé - Mega Man 9 is now available on PSN, WiiWare, and XBLA thanks to the creative sadists over at Capcom. Will the Blue Bomber’s triumphant 8-bit return make you release a Mega Buster in your pants, or is it a failed retro revival destined for the scrap heap?
When was the last time you played a game that intentionally tried to get into your head and turn your puppy dog dreams into nightmares about hell hounds rending flesh from the bones of babies? And no, Mega Man 9 doesn’t count. It’s probably been a while; horror games are few and far between now. However, the Silent Hill series has long been the prime destination for gamers intent on getting grossed out. Where else would you go for disturbing sexual metaphors mixed with some grotesque displays of the human anatomy? Well, besides the local free clinic.
Silent Hill Homecoming has shambled into stores, leaving a trail of blood and bile in its wake. Will this latest entry make gamers shit their pants out of fear, or buyer’s remorse?
While the Call of Duty series took a huge step away from its WWII roots and did a bang-up job at showing gamers what modern warfare is like, there are still some games out there intent on reliving the past. Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway revisits the ultimately doomed Operation Market Garden, which was supposed to end the war in time for the vets to go home and dress up as Santa for their kids. But you’re here for a video game review, not a history lesson, right? Well, suck it up, soldier; you’re going to learn something either way. Does Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway deserve the Medal of Honor or is it FUBAR, AWOL, and SNAFU?
A good Star Wars game is a rarity. For some reason, the fine people at Lucas Arts are unable to transplant their movie-making abilities to video games, all but guaranteeing that when we do get a title that takes place in that far, far away galaxy it will be a messy pile of bad controls, a glitchy camera system, a token Hoth level, and a lackluster experience overall (kind of like Episode 1 - Zing!). It’s obvious that with Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, they’re trying to change their image. After all, it is an official new entry into the Star Wars canon and it actually features some cool game play elements, specifically a focus on crazy Force powers and the destruction you can cause with them. Does The Force Unleashed break from tradition and deliver a gaming experience fans and newcomers alike can enjoy, or should you stick your head back into the sweltering sands of Tatooine and keep waiting for the next elusive good Star Wars game?
2 Comments [+] 
Digg 
Del.icio.us 
Technorati 
StumbleUpon
More: Massouken, Plusses & Minuses, ps3, xbox360
A year ago, Rock Band was one-of-a-kind. The only other contestant in the pretend musician genre was Guitar Hero III with its, in comparison, severely limited and by-the-books experience. Why be relegated to furiously finger-tapping multi-colored buttons all by your lonesome when you could have a group of friends over and piss off all your neighbors together? Rock Band outclassed its opponent in almost every imaginable way. But with Guitar Hero: World Tour tuning up, intent on shredding circles around its cocky nemesis by basically ripping it off, does Rock Band 2 offer enough freshness to keep fake musicians headbanging? Or should it get booed off the stage?
Another year, another story of a naive, saucer-eyed girl and the cocky, cynical swordsman that loves her. Tales of Vesperia mixes classic RPG level grinding with anime, intent on reducing two of the most annoying groups of fanboys to quivering masses after the immense nerdgasm only this combination can cause. Does this by-the-numbers RPG manage to land a critical strike, or does it deserve a katana to the back, a la Final Fantasy VII’s Aeris? (Yeah, that’s right - I just spoiled an important plot point of a 10 year old game. I live my life on the edge.)
2 Comments [+] Digg Del.icio.us Technorati StumbleUpon
More: Massouken, Plusses & Minuses, rpg, xbox360
Have you ever wanted to control the wind? Probably not, since it’s a rather silly superpower. While your pal Ned Tedward is able to shoot electricity out of his pupils as he masquerades as the “Electric Eyeballer,” you’d be stuck as the “Wind Wizard,” using your “powers” to rustle trees and spin pinwheels. However, the ability to manipulate the wind can be a lot better than it initially sounds. Board up the windows - LostWinds (WiiWare) breezes through like a hurricane this week.
10 Comments [+] Digg Del.icio.us Technorati StumbleUpon
More: Massouken, Plusses & Minuses, wii, wiiware
Ryu Hayabusa ruthlessly slices up fiends on the Nintendo DS with his signature panache, but does the fact-paced Ninja Gaiden series translate to the touch-screen? Or is this just Ninja Training for Dummies? Hold on to your rice balls and sake - Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword is on the chopping block this week.
It takes a lot to break my gamer spirit. I’ve played through countless duds in my illustrious gaming career and suffered through the deepest doldrums as a result of shitty game design and half-assed development. However, it wasn’t until I played the mini-golf mash-up, King of Clubs, that I took a step back and reconsidered my thoughts on all the bargain bin fodder that I’d abhorred with every fiber of my being. With my new perspective, I can safely say that even the most terrible games I struggled through in the past are masterpieces when compared to this atrocious pile of steaming garbage.
2 Comments [+] Digg Del.icio.us Technorati StumbleUpon
More: Massouken, Plusses & Minuses, wii
Have you ever wanted to feel the tedium, depression, and the unflinching sense that you’re slowly wasting your life away that comes with working in a kitchen cooking greasy cheeseburgers for the morbidly obese? Thanks to Order Up!, you can experience being a failure two-fold: By spending money on this game and by filling the virtual shoes of a short-order cook destined to slave away wearing a sweat-streaked chef’s apron for meager tips and fleeting satisfaction. In fact, this game may be a cleverly -designed viral marketing campaign against meat, the fast food industry, the Wii, Nintendo, and video games in general in disguise. I can’t imagine anyone wanting anything to do with any of that after playing Order Up. I’m convinced that the developers were single-handedly attempting to suck the joy out all of the above. For what purpose, you ask? I dare not fathom the depths of their devilish devices, and neither should you. But for what it’s worth: Mission Accomplished.
