Having “No More Heroes” Is Better Than Having No More Herpes

agent b on March 3rd, 2008

Something miraculous happened about an hour into “No More Heroes,” the janky yet beautifully orchestrated new action title from director Suda 51. I stopped giving a fuck about the technically messy bits and realized they meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. See, for all its shortcomings, No More Heroes made me stop worrying about its seemingly empty sandbox overworld, constant scenic pop-in, and bipolar framerate (which sometimes dipped into the single digits). I just didn’t care. Why? Because when it really gets moving, the game exudes so much style, so much cool, that none of that shit mattered.

(pussy-whipped assassin slash otaku nerd protagonist Travis Touchdown gets gritty)

Packed to the rim with 80’s video game fan service, “Heroes” doesn’t just break gaming’s 4^th wall, it gets drunk with your girlfriend and fucks her through it while you’re at home hosting a LAN party. Then it brushes off the asbestos and dashes back into the wild before you even realize wassup.

Do not steal or even rent this masterpiece. Suda deserves your cash. The last thing I want to see is him meandering around his hometown, picking up garbage, mowing lawns and knuckling up coconut trees (just a sample of the game’s hilarious mini-games) to collect enough dough to pay his rent because you assholes didn’t support a fantastic, wildly original video game when it was right under your noses. It carries the type of swagger and humor of a good independent art house film. Hopefully, it can some how, some day help cut a path to getting video games respected as a legitimate art form, one katana beamed, blood fountain spewing doubter at a time.

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