WORLD LAW: Tom Clancy Needs To Go On A Waterslide And Eat Cotton Candy

agent b on April 2nd, 2008

Dude, you’ve been writing war novels and slapping your name on gun-hungry video games since The Hunt For Red October in 1984, take a fucking vacation. Do you sleep in a fighter jet bed, bathe in bullets and make love to a ballistic missile when Ms. Clancy is out antique hunting for World War II memorobillia? I know Ubisoft owns your soul, but over 40 war loving video games have been released under your moniker since you made it known that you war in your pants every time you hear the word “war.” I haven’t checked Toys R Us today but i’m sure Tom Clancy’s Shoot People Somewhere and Tom Clancy Detonates An Orphanage Because He Can just hit the racks. Tom, you’re like Yosemite Sam, Snidely Whiplash and Boris & Natasha piled into one jelly roll of a man except your obsessive weapons of choice aren’t cartoon bombs and shotguns, they’re real ones.

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