Father-To-Be Practices Parenting By Leveling His Orc Mage

Kent on September 22nd, 2008

In a surprising moment of maturity, part-time programmer and avid gamer Brendan Carlson has announced that he plans to raise a new World of Warcraft character in anticipation of becoming a real life dad.

“The second my girlfriend told me, I knew what I had to do. I sold my character to some dude in China and started back at level 1,” said Carlson, who went so far as to name his new character BrendanJr. “He killed his first kobold today. I was tearing it up!”

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Warning: Cigarettes And Video Games Kill Kids

agent b on March 27th, 2008

Confused and misguided political figures around the world are up to their usual bag of anti-gaming bullshit, threatening everyone from developers to awkward retail clerks over potentially violent video games. Not content that mature games are blatantly labeled “Mature” with a giant M on the box and the word “Mature” written underneath in bold text, the Prime Minister has proposed that video games get cigarette-style health warning stickers, too. Yeah, like I needed any more ugly, sticky shit to peel off my games when my cheap-ass buys them used.

I’m all for the warning labels, though, they won’t affect my buying habits. I look old enough to rarely get carded for liquor, let alone mature video games. Most cashiers just assume I rolled directly out of a cardboard box and into their store after trading my ID for a magical peyote adventure under a bridge. I should probably shave. But why limit the warning labels to just violent games? I’ve been buying games since the mid eighties and a lot of these things could’ve used a cautionary explanation on the box, regardless of their ratings.

And because i’m nice, here’s a few to get them started:

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GameStop Not Accepting Collected Days Of Not Having Sex As Store Credit

jasper on March 17th, 2008

Gamestop Headquarters - 9th ring of Hell, NJ - My name is Naniel Pezzywinks and I am 29 years old. I can grow a full beard if I want to. My collection of poseable anime statuettes has been linked to by Destructoid over 6 times, 4 of which received comments (3 of which were me.)

What a shitty month it’s been! First I broke my Highlander sword in the backyard. Then I lost my favorite set of 759 sided dice in Hot Topic. I don’t have to tell you, friends, the pewter goblin goblet is half empty ‘ova here’.

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