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Archive for the " xbox360 " Category
Ah, the ill-fated Xbox 360 Red Ring of Death, how we fear thy ways. After all, with a 16% failure rate, it could happen to anyone. For some of us, it already has. Multiple times. And as much as we love spending a half hour coaxing Microsoft’s customer service into sending us a “coffin” (the sad cardboard box used to mail back your deceased console) only to receive yet another broken replacement, sometimes its easier to just give up. Well then, the least that Microsoft could do is give us a few ideas of what to do with this giant, expired paperweight of failure. That’s why we propose the official Red Ring of Death Apology Manual, printed and paid for by Microsoft themselves, of course. Besides, what else are you gonna do with the damn thing?
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Calling all gamers out there who have no problem spending hundreds of dollars on a video game console but can’t justify the $50 a year Xbox Live subscription to make the most of it - your golden cow nipples have arrived. Microsoft has slyly let loose the news that you cheap-ass Silver members can play online for free with the Gold guys in select games before your ethernet cable turns back into a pumpkin.
Grab your friends, line up your poor, dry mouths at the shiny gates of milky mammilla, and extract every last droplet until this fall when its back to the homeless shelter with no shoes for you. Now stop bumming quarters for the downtown peep show booth and go kick some Gold ass! Never mind that they’re infinitely more obsessed and experienced by now - you need a few more lessons in humility.
The hit television show Deadliest Catch may lead you to believe that the rugged fisherman of the great seasonal hunt for Alaskan King Crab have the toughest job that the icy Bering Sea waters have to offer. But beyond even their worst experiences lies a far greater reward that only the allure of a certain video game villain mastermind can haul in. Enter Doctor Captain Robotnik as he dares venture off the coast of the Dutch Harbor into the dark seas of Green Hill Zone to bring in the world’s most treasured delicacy…
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More: B Miggs, Headlines, pixel parodies, sonic, xbox360
Never satisfied with what hardware manufacturers have to offer, gamers tend to take the design aesthetic portion of things into their own, slimy, talentless hands. That’s nice and all, but the results are usually pricey, bulky, and most importantly, absolutely atrocious. But mere words cannot describe such artistic debauchery, so let’s get on with the show.
Two Screens One Touch DS Lite
When life gives you memetic coprophagia pornography, don’t make dual screened, shit stained lemonade out of it. Just shake your head in disbelief like the rest of us did and try to wash away the painful memories.
And on the 7th day after getting their test console back from the repair shop, Microsoft created the Xbox360, a powerful behemoth in the online console gaming scene. But with the power of X comes great responsibility, and thus the 10 Commandments of Xbox Live were created. It is of utmost importance that one follows these rules, as they are the codification that binds our gamertags in joyous, prosperous gaming unison.
Everyone’s favorite polygonal minstrel show is coming back to your Xbox360! If we all play pretend together, we can imagine that violent sandbox games have been noticeably absent this generation and that a void for this shit actually exists. Well, THQ and Volition have teamed up to fix that. Saints Row 2 stars upcoming white emcee Whiko Bellic as he battles for white supremacy through dozens of racial stereotypes, all of which do their best to set black people back 100 years. And since 80% of video game programmers are white, you know that a rap-thematic tale of urban on goings is going to be in good hands. Volition has spent the last year spying on Rockstar Games listening to their fan’s demands, playing GTA IV playing the first Saints Row, and are ready for their next big absurdly racist hit. And we all know how original a bunch of white people can be! In case we haven’t laid the sarcasm on thick enough, Saints Row is racist as fuck and you’re an idiot for supporting it.
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More: images, racism, white people, xbox360
The lord of the console has spoken! Today, Microsoft has officially announced their new smaller, sexier Xbox 360 chipsets for this August. Release the doves and sing Allelu. Do I take this as a random coincidence, totally unrelated to everyone’s favorite factopia of a blog, le Minsu World? You bet your fat ass I don’t. This ain’t no freakin’ coincidence. This is an act of uncut compassion. That’s not an overheating processor you see, that white smoke means they’ve elected a new pope gaming god with the blood of man: ME! I gracefully accept this prestigious honor and humbly bow down before B Diddy Gates the lord of gaming and ask for his money blessing. I promise not to let you down Microsoft as I wave at every parade and shake hands in the streets with wheelchair children until the sun sets on your great financial kingdom, Amen.
Your elected Lord,
Jasper (XBL ID: AndyJ710)
Grand Theft Auto IV baby! It’s the game of the year no matter how you spin it. Seriously, what else are you looking forward to (Metal Gear Solid 4)? Although, this M rated masterpiece begs the question: how do the youngins get their play on? Surely they’ll get carded at the gates of GameStop, leaving them with no way to experience Niko’s hustle through the newly revamped streets of Liberty City. Why waste that expensive marketing campaign and all that street hype on just the big kids? Well, The -Minus World got the hook up, an exclusive first look at Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto IV Activity Book For Kids. Sure, it lacks the bullet fun frenzy of the actual game, but for the tek-toting tykes of tomorrow, it’s the next best thing!
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More: GTA IV, activity book, ps3, xbox360
Craving that oft-rumored Bioshock sequel? Of course you are! How about two of them? Ready for that? No, we’re pushing deeper…how about 3 Bioshocks released on the same day? Try 3 Bioshocks invading your world at the same time! Gross? Sure. But you asked for it. No, you practically begged for it. Reviewers are already calling the first few minutes of gameplay “awkward and uncomfortable yet seemingly daring, I never would have known how great this could be.” Well that’s gross, but it seems once these pinnacles of journalism get comfy with their new pixely lover than anything can happen. So pump those fists high and get ready to rock, you deranged perverts, and welcome to the underwater adventure of your dreams. You sick freak!
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The Call Of Duty series has gone from reenacting the past with its WWII inspired beginnings to the recent success of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which brought the franchise to the high tech battles of today. The next logical step? War of the future, as predicted by the current rate that America is devouring itself. Officially confirmed by Activision, Call Of Duty 5: Future Warfare pits the player in the trenches of the soon-to-be franchise infested rubble of tomorrow…
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More: 3rd party, Headlines, agent b, call of duty, xbox360
