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Archive for the " zelda " Category
Sometimes the least amount of effort can yield the most satisfying results.
Artwork by: Tyler Bronis
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More: Ben Goines, Tyler Bronis, images, link, wii, zelda
Artwork by Alex ab Barrera
Not to let a drunk driving accident slow him down, Shia Lebeouf has been cast as Link in the lead roll for the upcoming Zelda movie. Clearly a pact with the devil was struck, as the annoying actor is seemingly required to star in every major motion picture you ever wished you could star in as a kid. I mean, I was in my backyard with my friends helping the Autobots fight the Decepticons on a cast-iron swing set before this turd was even alive. And much like myself at age 6, he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. I guess the producers of the upcoming blockbuster feel the same way and giving him the role of the green-tuniced mute elf is good old fashioned payback. However, word on the street is that he plays a mean ass ocarina, so his penchant for piping off has paid off.
Well I for one am furious that this version was scrapped. Damn purists ruin everything!
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More: B Miggs, fake games, images, zelda
With all the wildly original video game source material Hollywood has to work with these days, you’d think they’d be able to get it right every now and then. Maybe its because the more serious stuff gets handled too seriously while the fun stuff gets ignored completely. Regardless, we’re sick of sitting idly and waiting for our favorite fan service fighting game to get made into the movie we’ve all dreamed of so we’re going to get things moving ourselves. We’ve got $37.50 in Gamestop store credit to start funding but we’re confident that once these studio execs see the epic cast of celebrities we’ve put together, Super Smash Bros. Brawl - The Movie will practically sell itself…
I shouldn’t have done that eighth round of Jager.
It always seems like a great idea until I wake up in a strange place hugging a stray cat and using hard plastic game boxes as pillows. My first play through of TLoZ:PSM (DS) left me shaking and irritated, which isn’t something I can really blame on the game, per say. It’s because I’m an alcoholic. Anywhoo, the game is fucking cool, especially when you’re playing it in a taxi at 9AM with one hand holding the stylus and the other covering your eye so you don’t puke. It’s your run of the mill rupee-fest where some shifty pirate prick takes all the credit for your hard work (like when somebody snatches your barfly after you’ve spent the whole night getting her liquored up.) This guy is a bit more deranged in the sense that he’s constantly filling your character with L.I.T.’s even though you don’t look a day over 8 years old. When the screen gets blurry just as you’re sinking your anchor to grab some needless ship part, you’ll want to snap the neck off of your Heineken and jab it into anything with a pulse.
Conclusion: Gametastic! Mosty because it turns the DS microphone into a breathalizer where you have to blow a 0.2 BAC just to access your save file. The “avoid getting seasick” mini games were a challenge, although i’m not even sure if they really existed or not.
Fuck it, last night was a business write-off anyway. Read on
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More: B Miggs, General, Review, drunk, ds, images, nintendo, zelda
via DS Fanboy
Fuck it, of course it does. These sassy lasses could get the hookshot any day of the week.
